Restored

I have been very down during this holiday season because of the move and a few personal tragedies that have occurred. I know several readers have been concerned and I have regretted imposing my emotional baggage on this audience. Today I have been somewhat restored to the true Christmas spirit.

So many of my recent past Christmases have been solemn for various reasons. But, today I spent Christmas with a family with children. I had said in a previous post that I felt Christmas is a holiday of love that is best enjoyed by romantics and families with young children. Today I experienced a Christmas morning that included smiles and laughter. I felt the joy of a family that was able to overcome for a few hours the worries of a bad economy and the anxiety of a troubled world and focus on each other. I felt warmth and inclusion with their family. I was given the temporary status of “Uncle” and had a stocking on their mantle of my own. There was a small gift for me to remember what it feels like to tear paper and be surprised. I had hoped that light and love would come back to my Christmas and it has.

Recently my family and friends have once again endured loss during the holiday season. I expected to have another melancholy holiday. But, last night the symbolism of the Catholic service I attended spoke to me. I was reminded of the plight of a young expectant mother in need of comfort on a night when no one was willing to offer shelter. I sat in a darkened room at midnight imagining how much greater her sense of hopelessness and despair must have been. My family and friends have recently suffered loss and felt such despair. Then the church lights blazed at the stroke of midnight, and I and the other musicians struck a brilliant fanfare on brass instruments, organ and voice. Suddenly, light came from darkness, hope returned to the world and a Child was born.

This morning I am reminded that this holiday is all about hope. Its all about love. This is the day when mankind was given a way out of hopelessness and despair. Remember that in the darkest most desperate hour a miracle can occur. In our scientific age we rarely consider the act of birth to be miraculous. But, let’s remember the miraculous potential that every life has. The life of one Child changed the world. I pray that each of us continues to experience that light, love, and sense of hope during the remainder of this season and for the entire new year.

Photo credit, C.A. Muller at Flickr

Sad News

For those of you who have not heard, I have just recently learned of my grandmother’s passing on Monday evening. It is sad news. I’m glad to say that she lived a very full and meaningful life and raised a large family who loved and respected her very much. She will be missed.

This news is increasingly sad because it is one more heartbreak to add to our family that has suffered so much tragedy near the holidays. Both of my grandmothers passed away between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Just a few years ago I remember that my maternal grandmother passed away and many of the flowers at her funeral were poinsettias. That plant no longer holds much appeal for me. When I was in college my uncle and his family were involved in a terrible car accident the night before Thanksgiving. My aunt died in the crash and the entire family was very seriously injured. Our turkey and dressing Thanksgiving dinner became the visitation meal to feed all the mourners.

As you can see from this post and from the previous one, I am not used to much joy and cheer during the holiday season. Once again our family will celebrate with one more empty chair at our table, one more gift left unopened. Perhaps there is a lesson in this. Our family has certainly learned that holidays are solemn occasions. There is deeper meaning to these days than overindulgence and excessive materialism. All of us are forced to turn introspective and do serious soul searching. We have learned to value each other. We must focus more on what we have and less on what we want. To celebrate it otherwise would be disrespectful to the memory of those we have lost. I hope one day the light and love of the season will find its way back into our Christmas. Until then, please keep us in your thoughts.

Thanksgiving and Gratitude

What a beautiful and meaningful holiday this is. It’s probably my favorite holiday on the calendar. We are becoming a more and more secular nation. However, this holiday is as close as we Americans come to taking time to reflect and be somewhat introspective. Most of us “get it”, especially those of us who were born to Depression Era grandparents and Cold War moms and dads. Those of us who suffered through “trickle down” Reaganomics when the drips and drops of cash never quite reached those of us on the bottom of the socio-economic scale. We understand what it is to be truly thankful for the small things in life. We understand the spirit of this holiday.

There are still too many status-hungry materialists that miss the point of what it is to be truly grateful for what we have. Too many fail to understand that we have far more to be thankful for than what we bought at “SamLand” (Wal-Mart/Sam‘s Club) last week. As a subtle pushback against those who have missed the point, I would like to dedicate this post to those things I am grateful for that have little or nothing to do with wealth or personal possessions.

I am so thankful for good health. Anyone who takes this for granted should be required to visit a nursing home or hospital for an afternoon. I don’t have to park in a handicapped parking space. I hustle into and out of the supermarket with my arms full of bags without needing help from anyone. I dash up and down the aisles without having to ride a scooter and ask for assistance to reach items on the top shelf. I eat anything I want without fear that it will make me sick. All my parts work and I still have all my original equipment with no customization.

I’m grateful for independence. This includes such a wide category. It requires me to be thankful to so many people in my life and in my past. I’m fortunate that I have had good parents and family that cared for me until I could care for myself. I’ve had good teachers that taught me enough about the world that I could survive in it without being an excessive burden on society or placing myself under obligation to others. I’ve had role models and mentors that have instilled a sense of values within me that places me appropriately within society and my community. I see the need to contribute to the collective humanity and not simply consume the fruits of others labor. My country allows me to think freely and live in a world where ideas are cherished and unsuppressed. I’m grateful to every man and woman that has sacrificed their life to maintain this freedom and guarantee my continuing independence.

I’m thankful for meaningful relationships. There is no substitute for the lessons of life we learn through contact with other people. I’ve been embraced with compassion and cautioned with kindness. Through every relationship, whether friendly or not, I’ve learned more about myself and about the world. I’ve learned how to “be” and how “not to be”. I’ve felt acceptance from others when I couldn’t muster it for myself.

Finally, I’m thankful for peace of mind. After living for years under repression and self-denial, I’m so glad to just be myself. It’s a beautiful thing to live with a clean conscience knowing that the face I show the world now is mine, not a mask. There is no deception in my daily life. I can just be.

I hope everyone that reads this finds time to express their gratitude and thankfulness in a spiritual, non-materialistic way. Look for deeper meaning than the superficial traditions and religion we have been taught for years. Find meaning that becomes personal and unique to you and share it. In the sharing, perhaps someone else will find a deeper sense of thanksgiving than they had experienced before.

Photo Credit: Publik-Oberberg, on Flickr

Party Time?

Isn't it interesting that you can go for months without so much as a phone call and then suddenly have two party invitations on the same evening. Well, that's the magic of the holiday season I suppose. One invitation is from my friends from work. The other invitation is from people I've just met. So now I'm in the difficult position of trying to decide which lovely group of people I'll have to disappoint. It's a hard decision. I certainly don't have a multitude of friends banging down my door. So it would be a good idea to use the chance to expand my social network. But, at the same time, the people at work are like family. I have great relationships with them and want to maintain that. We don't meet together socially very often so when the chance arises, I shouldn't miss it. There's no doubt about which invitation I accepted. I'll be joining my friends from work.

I've always been awkward around crowds (especially new crowds). I'm surprised I've been as succesful in my career as I have where I'm surrounded by and speak to large groups of people on a regular basis. I'm not going to over-analyze my decision too much. These are the holidays and its meant to be enjoyed. So, if I have the choice between being among loyal friends or being in a awkward and uncertain situation, I'll choose the sure thing. Wouldn't you?